Breathless Hesitation

One of the most introspective and personal moments in the
palette of human experience is that of the performer anticipating the
rising of the curtain. The more private that
moment, the more introspective.
That is why the dressing room is a sort of a temple to the performer.
An inner sanctum, where all movements, fingerings, phrases, and
gestures are considered, mentally rehearsed, and doubted. I am
reminded of John Hurt’s brilliant impression
as “the actor” seen throughout
the film “Aria”. Quiet and professional, he has
donned the costume, and applied the white pancake makeup
of Pagliacci hundreds of times before.
It is a ritual, it is sacred, and it is mundane.
Those actions frame his eyes.
So expressive, so unsearchable. Each curtain might be his last.
Each review might be his legacy.

“Musicians are professionally neurotic.” - Garrison Kiellor