Lounge Lizard

(WARNING! deep and mostly irrelevant cynicism below.)

When I was a zealous Christian, the social time after church was deeply

sad for me. It was always a very low point in my week. I am rather

introverted and rarely did anyone reach out to me specifically in the

so called "family" environment of church. My upbringing left me

aloof and uncomfortable interjecting myself where I have not been

invited. Many who feel outcast are drawn to the promise of community

that is inherent in the church.

It doesn't take long to see that the faith rarely creates the kind of

blind phileo-love in the hearts of the brethren that is promised in the brochure.

Everyone seemed just as shallow and clique-ish as any other social hierarchy

and soon I found myself ostricised and ignored.

I gave up after ten years, never seeing God's love in His people. My father

held on to his faith until the end, having deeply involved himself in a very large

charismatic church. He was a faithful churchgoer, member of the usher corps,

and regular attendant of social functions. After entering hospice, it was like

pulling teeth to get a visit from the local clergy. Although his fellow

ushers served as pallbearers, no one from the laity

visited as liver cancer destroyed his body.

He died holding my mother's hand, all alone in the body of Christ.